Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Law and Order: The New Star Trek!

NBC’s hit TV drama franchise Law and Order is the new Star Trek.

You remember Star Trek, right? I mean the new guy in the red shirt that Capt. Kirk gushes over and invites to join the landing party every episode? You just know he’s toast – he’ll get eaten by a carnivorous plant, or killed by a Romulin. It was a sure thing.

Today, we have the same predictability on L&O. As soon as a rich/privileged white person is introduced into the plot line, you just know how the show will end – whatever horrible crime is under investigation, they will be guilty as hell. Sure, there’ll be an occasional plot twist – sometimes they’ll use their privileged connections to “beat” the charge and get away with it. I actually saw an episode the other day where a snooty, rich white lady – big hat and all, got arrested for buying a poor, black girl as a slave!

Other safe assumptions you can always make about L&O episodes:

  • If the “ripped from the headlines” plot involves terrorists, they will be white supremacists. There are no Islamic terrorists in Law and Order.
  • If the plot line involves abortion, pro-lifers will either be murderers or absolute wackos. There are no rational, articulate pro-lifers on L&O.
  • If the plot involves religion, then controlling, misogynistic, fat, kooky evangelists will be the bad guys. Unless they’re Catholic, in which case they will be self-hating sexual something or others pushed beyond their limits by a conspiring church. Christians are bad people on L&O. Other religions, even voodoo and occult practices, are afforded respect and deference.

Any others you folks can think of?

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