Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas instructions for Christians

A few parting instructions for fellow Christians this Christmas, to help you all navigate all the Political Correctness (PC) out there – not to mention all those workers busy relocating Christmas trees back and forth, depending on where the PC roulette wheel landed:

1. No matter your church affiliation, for the next few days, if religion comes up just say you are a "Christian" – not Baptist, or Catholic, or Methodist. If you are a loyal member of the
United Church of Canada, however, you’re still required to answer either "Pagan” or "Atheist." Sorry.

2. Being a Christian in a pluralistic democarcy does not mean your belief system gets suppressed in favour of minority views. It means that CHRISTmas gets celebrated with no less joy and tolerance than everything else.

3. Wish people a "Merry Christmas" and mean it, unless you know for certain they belong to another faith tradition. Err, in other words, on the side of Christ.

4. Attend at least one real Christmas Concert. I know, I know – you’ve already been to your kid’s "Winter Celebration" where all that stuff about Jesus is hummed instead of sung, but just once track down a real Christmas Concert with all the traditional carols and attend – and no, it doesn’t matter if it’s at a church other than yours. Yes, even if it’s an Anglican Christmas Concert, just go.

5. Pray, just once, for everybody – especially for people you can’t stand. Storm the gates of heaven for them. Forgive them everything. Please.

6. Create or visit a Nativity. They’re disappearing and if you don’t normally have one as part of your family tradition, start one. Make one.
Buy one. Whatever.

7. Most importantly, no matter what anyone else thinks, just act like a Christian. Tell someone how happy you are that Christ was born. Let people see you being a good Christian. True ecumenism is conversion by example - not that water-down-that-convert-all-nations crap. As St. Francis said, "Preach always – if necessary, use words."

8. And have a Merry Christmas everyone: Eat, drink, hug your kid, make love to your wife/husband, pray – and feel free to mix up the order.

I’m doing it all....

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